Why bother ?

Sometimes, some friends ask me: 
"Why are you spending yourself like this? 
Why do you spend so much energy in interacting, 
learning, exchanging with others, 
with such a passion? 
Doesn't this exhaust you?"


Sometimes, yes, it does.

Other times, I think that I say too little, 
I interact too little 
with the universe out there. 

Sometimes I see myself as a monk hiding in public, 
telling literally nothing, 
closed in a shell 
as almost everyone else around me. 
There is so much to do, 
learn and see out there, 
and still, some of us are so frightened 
of opening ourselves to the vast realms outside us...


And, sometimes, I also feel betrayed by those 
whom I ex-changed so much with. 

But this is a passing moment, shaded by the egos. 
Because nothing diminishes. 
Because energy, according to the first law of thermodynamics, 
cannot be created or destroyed, 
only modified in form. 

Everything is still there. 

So, at the end of the day, I never regret. 
I am here to spend every inch of myself,
 and when the time comes, 
death will find nothing left to take from me. 


This is the promise I made to myself, and I'm working on it.